On June 14, Donald Trump is planning a large military parade like the ones hosted by Adolf Hitler, Kim Jong Un, and Saddam Hussein. The parade will cost taxpayers tens of millions of dollars and serve no other purpose than to make Donnie 2-Dolls feel important.

I have this vision for that day...What if we could get thousands, or tens of thousands, of real Americans (the ones who uphold the Constitution and hate tyrants) to attend the parade. Each one should bring 5 potatoes with them. When the parade nears their position, these protesters will toss their potatoes into the streets ahead of the parade. Let's line the streets with taters for the king of all dicks.

DO NOT throw potatoes at any person or vehicle! It's important to point out that the potatoes should be rolled or thrown into the street ahead of the parade, not at anyone in the parade. This is a non-violent act of protest, and there is no call for potentially injuring parade participants.

If we can get a handful of people to commit to this action, it will go unnoticed. If we can get a couple hundred to participate, it will just be an oddity and no one will know what it means. But if we can get thousands, or even tens of thousands of people throwing potatoes into the parade route, it would, at the very least, make the parade look as foolish as it actually is.

The vision

Imagine if 10,000 people each tossed 5 potatoes into the street. That would be 50,000 potatoes that the people and vehicles would have to trample to keep the parade moving. It would look ridiculous!

The parade route is supposed to be several miles long, so if the protesters were approximately evenly spaced along the route, there wouldn't actually be that many potatoes in any given area. But if we could somehow get enough people to participate, or concentrate enough protesters into a small section of the parade route, we could fill the streets with the potatoes of protest.

In my mind, I envision so many people participating in this event that it would go down in history alongside the Boston Tea Party ("The D.C. Tater Tantrum," maybe?) as an icon of the American tradition of rebellion. I'm sure it won't actually be that big, but hey, I can dream, can't I?

Why potatoes?

I've attended several protests this year in my home state, and I keep seeing variants of this sign:

I've always felt we could do more with this joke, but I could never think of a good way to expand on it.

Today, while reading an article about the upcoming military parade, I was thinking it would be cool if we could organize a large group of people to walk into the street and block the parade. As soon as I had the thought, though, I realized that this would not be possible. Anyone attempting to block the parade would likely be forcibly removed by the police, which would either prevent more people from joining the blockade or might even inspire them or other attendees to try to fight back, and we could see the entire thing break out in violence. That would only encourage a violent crack-down on all protesters everywhere by the Trump regime and could end up with the country under martial law. It's not worth the risk. While I do believe that the current assault on the United States may require us to resort to violence to end it, any such violence would have to be organized and accountable...it can never be individuals picking a fight with the police or other state agents at what's supposed to be a peaceful protest.

I still liked the idea of doing something during the parade to mark our dissatisfaction with the Trump regime. That got me thinking about the way people used to throw rotten food at criminals being paraded through the streets on their way to the headsman's block. And suddenly, it clicked...why not combine the pelting of criminals with the dick-tater meme: Let's all throw potatoes—taters—at the dick who is systematically dismantling our country! Now, I don't know if Donnie 2-Dolls will actually be participating in his parade, but part of me thinks his ego won't let him sit it out. I imagine he'll come rolling along at the end of the parade like Santa Claus closing out the annual Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade in New York.

I quickly realized that throwing anything, let alone a hefty potato, at the president would likely be considered assault, and anyone doing so would quickly be arrested and could face serious charges. That's justifiable—assaulting the president or any of his representatives would be sending the wrong message for our resistance. Once again, if there is to be violence perpetrated against this regime, it must come from an organized militant body with an established and recognizable leadership willing to take responsibility and be held accountable for any violence they commit. I do not know of any such body capable of taking on that role.

While throwing objects at people in a parade is unacceptable, simply lining the streets with objects ahead of the parade would make a very powerful statement of dissent without threatening anyone's safety or encouraging violence on either side.

That's when I started to imagine hundreds of military personnel and vehicles making their way through potato-filled streets, leaving broken bits of potato stuck on their boots and their wheels and a line of mush throughout the streets of D.C. What an embarrassment that would be to the entire Trump regime!

Have fun with it

If we're going to do this, we might as well have some fun while we're at it.

Take a little time to prepare your potatoes in advance. Cut a message into the skin, paint them, peel them, sign your name on them, carve them like a jack-o-lantern or cut them into interesting shapes. Bring big potatoes, small potatoes, sweet potatoes, russet potatoes, home-grown potatoes, or store-bought potatoes. Take pictures of you tater-friends before you go to the parade and post them all over social media.

Get creative, have some fun, and let's send a message for the whole world to hear (again): This is the United States of America. No Kings. No Tyrants. And absolutely NO DICTATORS!